Condom Fairy—me, 10yrs ago, handing out free condoms to every man I saw at my first-weekend-of-college festival. Would *you* have used a condom on the Condom F*ggot, Sir?
Lock your boy until he becomes an innocent, awkward little virgin again. Make him forget what sex feels like and make him feel like he must impress you immeasurably before you’ll take his v-card back.
