Sir, My philanthropy is widely known, but today I felt I could go further. With immediate effect I have instigated a penny increase in all female staff wages. Staff merely have to work naked to receive this bonus. (Subject to Lady B___'s absence)
Sir, Settling in my library with a glass of brandy, I read a volume purporting to predict the future. Within 150 years, electrical machinery shall revolutionize all manner of daily activity. Studying the illustration brings me great unease. I write to Si
Sir, following a rewarding meeting with a comely lady,I receive an invitation to send a postal order for 20 shillings to personally receive photolithographs of an intimate nature. I tell Lady B___ that I am off for a stroll to the village. They have fine
Maid Elsie tells me she wears a hat that she is unable to remove. "Can your other clothes be removed?" I ask. "Why yes sir", and she demonstrates. "But not your hat?" "No, sir." I suspect she has been at the Laudanum again.
Sir, Following an unfortunate encounter with spring and horsehair, Lady B___ instructs me to purchase a new chaise longue with immediate effect. I do take maid Ida to the showroom to assist. "It must not interfere with dress nor skin" I explain. Ida as
Sirs and Madames, May I thank you most wholeheartedly for your continuing vigilance in reporting the unwanted promotional material that urchins have been leaving here of late. The lazy maids responsible have been punished.
Sir, Upon employing two new maids, I was pleasantly surprised to note how they worked most harmoniously together. Further, my insistence that maids share accommodation to reduce costs is usually met with much disagreement, but my new staff were most deli
Sirs and Madames, I most cordially welcome our new members who have arrived at the door of our club. All are welcome and I trust you will have an enjoyable stay here. I have instructed the maid to put extra coal on the fire for your comfort.