Went to the doctor as recommended by everyone in this post. Some people wanted an update so for anyone wondering, they are just cysts and harmless. Check your balls guys.
Can anyone source this video? The content is epic, but the link I have is totally stolen! I am afraid to post it here and break any rules… No glove markings, uses a scalpel. I have seen other similar content and would love to find the originals!
TL;DR - a formerly benign cyst went haywire when my immune system ramped up to fight covid. Had it lanced, then I was allergic to the antibacterial infused bandaids I bought to cover it. I'm in hell.