Sir, I receive a letter from Gussy Herbert, who is currently on government work overseas. "I have grown the best moustache. It is the most fashionable style these days". He encloses a photo. I am uncertain whose whiskers are the most impressive, but I nudes
Dear Sirs and Madames, I must caution you to take utmost care during your Egyptian travels. Misunderstandings abound! As a cautionary tale I present the sight that awaited me when I requested from our guide to see a mummy unwrapped.
Sir, A new chandalier arrives from Paris. The correct height must be determined and I devise a novel scientific method using staff to gauge my calculations
Sir, I am awoken in the early hours by the smell of smoke and much calamity. I race downstrairs in my undergarments. Much to my relief, cook has summoned the fire brigade and has the matter in hand.
Sir, as a noted philanthropist, I do oft employ those who I feel need the greatest assistance. Maid Lilibet was from such a humble background that she had not even sat upon a chair before entering service. I gain great comfort from educating the deservin
Sir, I must profusely apologise for my absence from our club. I had taken delivery of some fine Brandy at a very agreeable price. A visit from the local constabulary did alert me to some irregularities, and thus to avoid the duty men I have been touring
A warm welcome to all who have arrived in our little club from the "100 year old porn found in wall" pamphlet that is doing the rounds. My secretary is busy typing up membership cards for you all as we speak. Please make yourself comfortable, we have a
Sir, A distingushed member of this club recently complained of the state of his lawns. I fear he is not alone, why only yesterday I discovered two of the gardeners hopelessly attempting to prune a tree, I observed their efforts from the bushes.
Messieurs et Madames, I am sure you will be most delighted to learn that our club is once more open, and I invite you all to enjoy a fine wine or brandy with me this evening. My staff have been practising a splendid dance display, which they will perform
