With Goddess Alex ruling over Venus with an iron visit, there has been a record number of pigs that have gone missing. Pigs are important for the economy of the Matriarchy. This is unacceptable!
I have been informed that someone broke into my private liquor stash at the palace and stole a bunch of my booze, and that they also raided my nacho cupboard. The Cadets are harshly interrogating all palace pigs to make sure it was not an inside job.
After a long and arduous journey, I've been secretly smuggled into Riverbed. The Queen took great delight in letting out her stresses on me, but found I was making too much noise. Even gagged with her dirty sock, I couldn't keep myself quiet.