You weren’t man enough to watch in person. So instead you found a bull online and flew your girlfriend to Vegas. She met him at the hotel pool in the bikini you bought her
“Ugh, that’s it? Seriously? I should’ve known you were a short dick bitch when you couldn’t even bench press the bar. This is what I get for giving a ‘nice guy’ a chance. Put your pants on and get out of here, Loser.”
