Sir, A great commotion in the night causes me to rush downstairs fearing intruders. I am relieved to find only maids Agnes and Elsie. They quickly explain how they are affeared of fire and conflagration; they do seek to extinguish any naked flames before nudes
Dear Henny, A thousand pardons for my dearth of letters. My holiday along the Nile was dreadfully lost in the cataracts, and the heat has been most dreadful.
Sir, I must profusely apologise for my absence from our club. I had taken delivery of some fine Brandy at a very agreeable price. A visit from the local constabulary did alert me to some irregularities, and thus to avoid the duty men I have been touring
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, A business luncheon with Lord Whippincot, a most pious man. I fear his shock at maid Clara's interpretation of a 'welcoming spread' could be heard in the next village. However, Whippincott later tips me a nod and offers much government work. I am
Sir, I request new staff from the agency, and they send me not one but three. Finding their abilities greatly similar, I do devise a scheme to assist in my choosing between them. Even yet, they do all seem of comparable calibre. I fear I cannot choose an
Dear Henny, I found a wonderful piece for our lithograph collection. Tis a lovely Illyrian scene which should further our amateur anthropological studies. I can’t wait to review it with you when I return.
Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work o
