Sir, As we approach the Yuletide once more it seems that one can hardly avoid the cook books that fill the booksellers shelves. I have availed myself of one such volume entitled 'The Hairy Diners Cook Book' There is much to be learned in the culinary a
Sir, My Head Gardener reports a glut of root vegetables. I have devised a method of grading the length and girth, Cook will not tolerate any sign of flacidity in the produce.
Sir, A distingushed member of this club recently complained of the state of his lawns. I fear he is not alone, why only yesterday I discovered two of the gardeners hopelessly attempting to prune a tree, I observed their efforts from the bushes.
Sir, Lord Rollright of Shipton do visit, bringing strange prophecies of the future still to come. He 'sees' many folk holding a curious looking glass - one which shows not a reflection of the self, but pictures of the gentle sex without clothing. Rollr
Gentlemen, I am most perplexed. Having commissioned a portrait of my fiancee, I was shocked when presented with this (admittedly fine and lovely) life-size rendering of her in a most odalisque pose. I naturally anticipated viewing her in this state only
Sir, that blaggard greengrocer do visit , hawking his marrows, cucumbers and carrots. I instruct my staff not to fall for his salesman's charm. Cook tells me that she has her own special method for determining the quality of such goods. I defer to her e
Sir, Being a progressive employer I encourage the staff to entertain themselves on their monthly day off. Today I found them playing a game of statues - quite amusing.
