Sirs et Madames, We welcome all new guests to our club - over 800 of you in this past day. It has become a trifle crowded with newcomers at present, so I have opened the Dashwood room. It is a little dusty, but is most cavernous. My staff are already in nudes
Sir, I have oft heard it pronounced that the fairer sex are not capable of riding these new "safety bicycles", as it may prove too strenuous or in some way un-ladylike to do so. I trust that herein I am able to provide proof that this argument has no m
Sir, In another place there has been a discussion of ladies with rings piercing their nipples (please pardon my French) in the manner of a ring through the nose of a bullock. It is to my dismay that I do not have any illustrations of such, but I did find
Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work o
Sir, Once more I find myself interviewing for a new maid. A great many did apply, and so I have implemented a new system of interview and assessment. I am now considering the final three candidates, but it is most difficult to decide between them.
Sir, Gussie Herbert informs me of a modern Vaudeville act whereupon a lady is cut in half ! I have witnessed this performance but I fear that the illusion has yet to be perfected
Today maid Lottie did spill a whole bottle of ink down her tunic. She starts to cry, she cannot afford a new dress. "Does your dress, or lack thereof, affect or impede your ability to clean?" "No, sir". "Well then, I think we have a solution to your
Sir, If you may permit me to celebrate my philanthropic success, I wish to present Maid Lavinia, who did enter my service not 3 months past with no numbers nor letters. Yet now, through my diligent encouragement, is able to read the morning newspapers to
Sir, Following my correspondence of the 15th inst. , in which a prospective maid did display her Petticoat Lane for all to see, a number of members of our club did hand in their membership cards in a show of some disgust. To soothe the brow, I herein pre
