Sirs et Madames, A very warm welcome to all new members of our fine club - 255 of you joined this past evening, a numeric value which got Mr Babbage most excited. My secretary is busy preparing membership cards for all, please to be a little patient. Wel
Sir, A new chandalier arrives from Paris. The correct height must be determined and I devise a novel scientific method using staff to gauge my calculations
Dear Henny, cousin Fanny has heard about your trapeze artists, and has put her amateur talents upon the swing to the test. I am verily impressed, and she insisted upon joining me returning home this weekend to show you her skills.
Sir, much commotion from the servants quarters. I race up there with poker in hand, expecting to find an intruder. Instead, I discover only maid Ethel, who explains that she is administering first-aid upon the postman, collapsed from overwork delivering
Sir, After a rendition of Mozart I conclude that the harpsichord is much in need of a tuner. I have glanced at the leaflet that came from the manufacturer but the proceedure seems very technical.
Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work o
Sir, I must state it most plainly : I do not favour the modern 'impressionist' style of art. If a painting is to be enjoyed and admired, it must be of the utmost realism.
