It's truly despicable that someone would steal Queen Alex's underwear. I'm willing to buy them from the thief in order to return them to her, no questions asked.
As per the request from our Head of State, the pig responsible for preventing the Queen's parade has been publicly crucified by the Cadets. He will be fed only 150 calories a day in kale and then sent to the mines once the parade is over. For the time b
