It's truly despicable that someone would steal Queen Alex's underwear. I'm willing to buy them from the thief in order to return them to her, no questions asked.
So, I know Portlandia is a dreadful, savage place, where dangerous men roam wild without proper feminine rule. But just think how much better it could be, if they only had the right powerful woman in charge, to whip them into shape. Perfect job for an as