*Private Journal Entry* My apartment smells like a fucking greenhouse because of Lockcock's constant pot use. He is using because of his PTSD from being left on the whipping post for 6 months. I want this mentally ill motherfucker out of my apartment. W
Great news Press Secretary 2! We didn't lose The Queen's shoecleaner! He is on a top secret mission, so I'm heading to Freya to get rid of the imposter now.
All the whining about the dangers of hunting wild pigs was completely overblown. It turns out they are as weak as any pig and squeal just as loud when you break them!
Only one single pig was kind enough to wish me a Happy Women's Day. Tomorrow, food rations will be cut by 75%. Maybe starving a bit will teach you pigs some manners!
