Sir, I am awoken in the early hours by the smell of smoke and much calamity. I race downstrairs in my undergarments. Much to my relief, cook has summoned the fire brigade and has the matter in hand.
Sir, In readiness for the feast of St Stephen, I do restock the wine cellar. Maid Elsie do assist. In the course of our work, we do both sample a little wine, brandy and port. Reclining with ease, Elsie declares it "most fine", and I do very much agree
Sir, I must state it most plainly : I do not favour the modern 'impressionist' style of art. If a painting is to be enjoyed and admired, it must be of the utmost realism.
Sir, The Municpal Park has a mistress in charge of the boating lake. She hails the boaters to return when their allotted time is up. I understand that there are harsh penalties for those who fail to return immediately.
Sir, Lady B____ reports a fault with her screen, whereupon it wobbles while she is dressing. "Only while dressing?" "Yes". I summon maid Harriet to assist me in recreating the problem, and do you know it took us nigh on an hour to discover the loose
Sir, Herbert Gussie do excitedly bring news that furs are the very latest fashion in Paris. I dismiss him immediately, it is far from the first time that he has been sorely mistaken. "But they wear a fur and nothing else" he ejaculates. I may enquire a
Sir, I instruct Maid Jenny to adjust Lady B____'s screen, which is out of position. The maid quickly attends, but with her clothing dirtied from her earlier grate polishing duties, I do fear for the cleanliness of Lady B___'s furniture. A solution is s
A warm welcome to all who have arrived in our little club from the "100 year old porn found in wall" pamphlet that is doing the rounds. My secretary is busy typing up membership cards for you all as we speak. Please make yourself comfortable, we have a
