Sir, A wager : I do bet that maid Lottie cannot sit comfortably upon the chair without touching seat cushion or seat back. Her early attempts have clothing touching said cushions and thus forfeit, but a final wager brings a new technique and she wins two nudes
Sir, A troupe of acrobatic artistes arrive in the village. They favour us with an invitation to see them rehearse their act backstage. I am greatly entertained even though the human pyramid is not yet perfected.
To the Postmaster General, Im writing to you this very morning in praise of our new telegram boy. I find him to be the most dilligent and courteous fellow imaginable and I oft see him cycling up the drive whistling a cheery tune with a smile on his face.
Dear Hubby, the ladies club has had a new debate erupting regarding equestrian style. Given our nudity compromise, we’re debating the merits of topless and bottomless riding!
Sir, At the end of a hard day admonishing my staff, it is good to retire to my library with a glass of Port. I have many fine and ancient tomes, and I do find that literature enlightens the soul and broadens the mind. Take this fine piece as an example.
Sir, Gussy Herbert returns from his travels overseas. "I have had such great adventures, and tried many new things" he boasts. I ask him to elaborate, but he declines to discuss the matter further.
Lady B___ do oft enquire why I spend so much time in my library. It is, I explain, because I study my books therein. There is so much knowledge and learning to be found within. Historical documents of times past that can oft educate us to satisfaction
Sir, A letter arrives from Gussy Herbert, who is in great excitement. He declares that he has discovered a new and economical method of contraception, and promises to forward particulars with a view to patenting his system. I remain to be convinced, but
Sirs, A most hearty welcome to all newcomers! I see that our club has received a further 300 new members in the first 5 days of this new year alone. All are welcome here! I have instructed maid Dottie to put extra coal on the fire to warm you all.