There's still time to return your wife's Christmas present and spoil me instead. In return, I will tell you both how mediocre your wife is and how you will never get anywhere near me.
Is your wife boring? Have you cheated on her? Do perverted things turn you on? Have you ever done it? Tell me your deepest secrets. I want to listen to it all. Remember it. Save it.....
Are you sure your boring wife should get such a big Christmas present and so much attention? Wouldn't you rather spend the holidays chatting and spoiling me? I will listen to all your frustration and agree with you on how lame she is. You deserve better
