For the briefest moment today, I actually believed I might get to have sex for the first time since arriving in the Matriarchy. The Pirate Queen had other ideas. The result was far more humiliating and emasculating that I imagined.
Great news Press Secretary 2! We didn't lose The Queen's shoecleaner! He is on a top secret mission, so I'm heading to Freya to get rid of the imposter now.