Sir, I instruct my maids to decorate the drawing room with paper chains in celebration of the yuletide. The high ceilings therein necessitate the use of a ladder, but maid Elsie is anxious of its flimsy construction. I observe that her petticoats must ha nudes
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, Today I discover the identity of the sender & perpetrator of the "arse" greeting card that I received not three days past. It is none other than that blaggard greengrocer, oft loitering around my backdoor, causing disturbance among my staff. I
Sir, My Head Gardener reports a glut of root vegetables. I have devised a method of grading the length and girth, Cook will not tolerate any sign of flacidity in the produce.
Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise
Sir, At church on Sunday, and the priest do shriek and bellow about the fiery pits of hell awaiting all those who do sin. This sermon troubles me somewhat. I later invite the priest round for a glass of Brandy whereupon he reassures me that, in many way
Sir, Recently, Lord Pussetshaft proposed 'A Lady, when inverted, do resemble a Gentleman, and none can tell them apart'. After much Brandy and debate, we reached no firm conclusion. I called for two servants, but alas they were unable to remain still f
Sir, I instruct Maid Jenny to adjust Lady B____'s screen, which is out of position. The maid quickly attends, but with her clothing dirtied from her earlier grate polishing duties, I do fear for the cleanliness of Lady B___'s furniture. A solution is s
Sir, Lady B___ returns from visiting Lady Cunningham, where they daily have music played during luncheon. I am instructed to make this happen also, thus I interview local minstrels. One lady catches my eye. She is perhaps not so musical, but I feel I cou