For the briefest moment today, I actually believed I might get to have sex for the first time since arriving in the Matriarchy. The Pirate Queen had other ideas. The result was far more humiliating and emasculating that I imagined.
It's truly despicable that someone would steal Queen Alex's underwear. I'm willing to buy them from the thief in order to return them to her, no questions asked.
Due to some unfortunate incidents with the pig shoe cleaners on the Palace staff doing a subpar job, I am personally overseeing remedial training so that they are up to snuff for the State Dinner
