Sir, Today I discover the identity of the sender & perpetrator of the "arse" greeting card that I received not three days past. It is none other than that blaggard greengrocer, oft loitering around my backdoor, causing disturbance among my staff. I nudes
Sir, Herbert Gussie do excitedly bring news that furs are the very latest fashion in Paris. I dismiss him immediately, it is far from the first time that he has been sorely mistaken. "But they wear a fur and nothing else" he ejaculates. I may enquire a
Sir, Some Swedish folding chairs arrive for the Conservatoire, concerned as to their poor construction I have devised a scientific method to test their weight baring capability. They are found to be quite robust.
Sir, A visit to the local auction house can occasionally bring delights. A successful bid wins me this glorious piece, which I intend to hang upon the wall in the Dining Room so as to entertain guests. Lady B___ is watching as I return, and so I do inst
Sir, The summer is very much over and thus I instruct maid Fanny to dismantle Lady B___ 's garden chair. I observe that it has succumbed to mildew during the recent wet weather, and suggest a way to avoid dirtying her clothing. I stay awhile to ensure t
Sir, Lord Thistlewick has oft declared my maids most lazy, sitting idle and yet still receiving a wage. I entirely disagree with his opinion. As a progressive employer, I do prefer to pay some staff an additional bonus if they can remain most perfectly s
Sir, A great commotion in the night causes me to rush downstairs fearing intruders. I am relieved to find only maids Agnes and Elsie. They quickly explain how they are affeared of fire and conflagration; they do seek to extinguish any naked flames before
Sir, It is a miracle of our age that the Safety Bicycle is such an affordable means of transportation. Why, even maid Bella did recently buy one. Admittedly she pawned her clothing, as I would not give her a raise in pay, but this does not stop her from
Sir - we are fast approaching the birth of Lord and saviour, I have instructed Margot my housekeeper to devise a game that myself and my servants can entertain ourselves with during the Christmas festivities. I fear she may have got carried away with the
