I thought I could beat a woman at chess, but she put me in my place and reduced me to tears. This is my public apology, and my recognition of my own inferiority. Thank you for making me your chess bitch.
Due to some unfortunate incidents with the pig shoe cleaners on the Palace staff doing a subpar job, I am personally overseeing remedial training so that they are up to snuff for the State Dinner
Our Queen is doing amazing work overseas to increase our pig supply. As Head of State, I am calling for a thorough safety inspection of the Hera Slave Markets to be sure that we can handle the influx of new slaves.
