Sir, I receive a letter by Empire Mail from Gussy Herbert. He writes : "Hiring new staff. Was unable to choose and so I hired all of them. Three pretty maids all in a row, eh what?". I do briefly consider hiring fresh staff such as these, but Lady B_ nudes
Sir, I wish to pay complement to maids Elsie & Phoebe, most skilled in serving me a perfect evening brandy. Other staff do bring it chilled from the cellar and I send it back in disgust; Elsie and Phoebe understand the correct serving temperature. Th
Sir, If it pleases you to read this promotional correspondence,The lingua ligatum is a fully automatic machine that engages in a most unhygienic practice for the benefit of your wife. Made of gutta-percha & India rubber, this realistic device is extr
Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work o
Sir, A wager : I do bet that maid Lottie cannot sit comfortably upon the chair without touching seat cushion or seat back. Her early attempts have clothing touching said cushions and thus forfeit, but a final wager brings a new technique and she wins two
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send, by the Queen's post, a most modern "Christmas Greeting Card", within which he inscribes : 'A Merry Yule, you fool! May you get all you desire. I know I did!' He notes that 'Swells Academy' have a 2-for-1 offer upon Tues
Sir, As we approach the Yuletide once more it seems that one can hardly avoid the cook books that fill the booksellers shelves. I have availed myself of one such volume entitled 'The Hairy Diners Cook Book' There is much to be learned in the culinary a
Sir, There is much to be learned from the many illustrated books of our age. In the 'Woman's Favourite Cookbook' I discover a whole chapter devoted to butter making.
Sir, the lady of the house expresses her disatisfaction with her weighing scales. A new type of bathroom machine arrives from Avery & Co. Upon reading the fine illustrated instructions it appears robust enough for two or more persons.