Sir, Upon the last day of August, the local swimming gala took place. Baron Ampleforth's staff did win all the prizes, much to my chagrin. I have thus begun the training my staff and in doing so, I shall select the most talented among them to enter ne nudes
Sir, an increase in maids with infirmities such as rickets do trouble me, as they are unable to perform their work to a satisfactory degree. I have therefore introduced a test which new maids must pass. Such is its importance that I have decreed to super
Sir, members may recall a letter to the Times concerning the variable quality of garden furniture originating from beyond the Empire. Presently, there is some scientific endevour to esablish an international standard for weight bearing.
Sirs, A most hearty welcome to all newcomers! I see that our club has received a further 300 new members in the first 5 days of this new year alone. All are welcome here! I have instructed maid Dottie to put extra coal on the fire to warm you all.
Sir, In readiness for the feast of St Stephen, I do restock the wine cellar. Maid Elsie do assist. In the course of our work, we do both sample a little wine, brandy and port. Reclining with ease, Elsie declares it "most fine", and I do very much agree
Sir, In the hot weather, Maid Eleri do come to me exhausted from boiling the water in the copper for the weekly laundry. I instruct her to sit down, within a "scientific chamber" I had just invented. She do marvel at its efficacy in cooling. For me, th
Sir, The Municpal Park has a mistress in charge of the boating lake. She hails the boaters to return when their allotted time is up. I understand that there are harsh penalties for those who fail to return immediately.
Sir, The past 12 days has seen our private club gain 3,000 new members. I note that, following my story regarding the maid who was pissing in my hat, we lost 18 members. I apologise for my most vulgar report, and in penance I would like to share a work o
Sir, I have oft heard it pronounced that the fairer sex are not capable of riding these new "safety bicycles", as it may prove too strenuous or in some way un-ladylike to do so. I trust that herein I am able to provide proof that this argument has no m
