This fierce little coastal female wanted very little to do with me, begrudgingly allowing me to take measurements in exchange for all of my lunch before scampering off into the safety of the water (32B-24-36, 5’8”)
The offshore barrier islands that this female calls home have few trees, so driftwood is a valuable commodity. She will drag this branch back to her nest, and wedge it in place to provide shelter from the wind, rain, and sun
When a wild female gains weight (usually from too many hand outs), it concentrates in their hips and breasts, resulting in a voluptuous, exaggerated hourglass figure. They're best able to reproduce when they have surplus fat reserves, and are advertisin
Each Fall I'm sent deep into the park to breed some of the more reclusive wild females. I found this beauty here squatting in this abandoned building, and judging by her stunned reaction, I wouldn't be surprised if I was the first man she's ever seen.
This stunning lady right here is our wrangler, for dealing with aggressive or territorial wild females. It's less traumatic for them and better optics for us to have a woman do it. Very good optics, I must say.
I mated with this couple last breeding season, but it seems neither became pregnant. Now that they're out of heat, they clearly have no desire to try again, and if anything, seem annoyed with me for having wasted their time.
If anyone's considering joining the Deptartment Of Wild Female Sexuality and Procreation, keep in mind that our research requires us to be as shameless and uninhibited as the Wild Females themselves, and we mate with one another frequently and freely.
