Sir, I instruct my staff to prepare rooms for my guests, but they insist upon practicing their act "The Tumbling Maldinis" for the summer fayre. I offer some instruction and stage direction which is gladly accepted and do you know, I think their act ma nudes
Sir, A communique arrives from Gussy Herbert, currently a government delegate in France. "Arrived in Gay Paris. Trade delegation very dull, though great success after an impromptu meeting in the carriage from Lille. Much business was done in those few
Sir, The lack of education amongst the lower orders is lamentable. I have decided to permit the more promising servants to improve themselves whilst attending to their chores.
Sir, At the end of a hard day admonishing my staff, it is good to retire to my library with a glass of Port. I have many fine and ancient tomes, and I do find that literature enlightens the soul and broadens the mind. Take this fine piece as an example.
To The Postmaster General, Sir I write to complain about dire state of our mail delivery. Our old postman has retired and his young replacement I believe to be a lazy sluggard! Why, on mant occasions our first post is delayed by as much as half an hour.
Sirs et Madames, I apologise most profusely for the recent appearance of promotional handbills for strumpetry that have been left scattered around our club by tawdry urchins. The staff responsible for granting entry to said urchins have been punished.
Sir, after a long day admonishing my staff, I retire to my library with a glass of port. There is much to be learned from old documents. I spend an enjoyable hour of study.
Sir, A letter arrives from Gussy Herbert, who is in great excitement. He declares that he has discovered a new and economical method of contraception, and promises to forward particulars with a view to patenting his system. I remain to be convinced, but
Sir, a letter from Gussy Herbert by the Queen's Empire mail. He is at work developing new trade deals, and speaks highly of a triple alliance that he has developed.
