Only one single pig was kind enough to wish me a Happy Women's Day. Tomorrow, food rations will be cut by 75%. Maybe starving a bit will teach you pigs some manners!
Even though Goddess Sunshine rescinded my Christmas bonus for suspect reasons, I felt bad about a nightmare I had last night. That's why I dipped into my savings and bought her a Fornicouture Fuji Glass Dildo Whip. I laid in on her desk with a card sign
So, I know Portlandia is a dreadful, savage place, where dangerous men roam wild without proper feminine rule. But just think how much better it could be, if they only had the right powerful woman in charge, to whip them into shape. Perfect job for an as