Messieurs et Madames, I am sure you will be most delighted to learn that our club is once more open, and I invite you all to enjoy a fine wine or brandy with me this evening. My staff have been practising a splendid dance display, which they will perform nudes
Sir, Noises from below stairs at 2am. I creep down with my service revolver, to discover maid Beatrice with that blaggard greengrocer. He has given her a hat 'similar to which the ladies do wear' and is giving her much more at which point I do interven
Sir, Relaxing in my library with a glass of brandy - if the lazy servant girl can be bothered to bring it when I ring the bell - I do find it most enlightening to study old texts. I could easily remain here all night, studying.
Sir, I have hired two Italian chefs to give my luncheon greater variety. The chefs are currently banging and crashing around in the kitchen - presumably the Italian way - and I am in great anticipation of what exciting new experiences they may introduce
Sir, I must profusely apologise for my absence from our club. I had taken delivery of some fine Brandy at a very agreeable price. A visit from the local constabulary did alert me to some irregularities, and thus to avoid the duty men I have been touring
Sir, I receive a letter by Empire Mail from Gussy Herbert. He writes : "Hiring new staff. Was unable to choose and so I hired all of them. Three pretty maids all in a row, eh what?". I do briefly consider hiring fresh staff such as these, but Lady B_
Sir, a pleasant evening spent with Lord and Lady Oppenshaw, who have have a minstrel to play a six stringed guitar during dinner. Enjoying this novelty, upon return to my house I do I employ a local musician from the village to accompany me in my study a
Sir, I instruct my maids to decorate the drawing room with paper chains in celebration of the yuletide. The high ceilings therein necessitate the use of a ladder, but maid Elsie is anxious of its flimsy construction. I observe that her petticoats must ha
