Sir, I request new staff from the agency, and they send me not one but three. Finding their abilities greatly similar, I do devise a scheme to assist in my choosing between them. Even yet, they do all seem of comparable calibre. I fear I cannot choose an nudes
Sir, A business luncheon with Lord Whippincot, a most pious man. I fear his shock at maid Clara's interpretation of a 'welcoming spread' could be heard in the next village. However, Whippincott later tips me a nod and offers much government work. I am
Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise
A warm welcome to all who have arrived in our little club from the "100 year old porn found in wall" pamphlet that is doing the rounds. My secretary is busy typing up membership cards for you all as we speak. Please make yourself comfortable, we have a
Sir, A troupe of acrobatic artistes arrive in the village. They favour us with an invitation to see them rehearse their act backstage. I am greatly entertained even though the human pyramid is not yet perfected.
Gentlemen, I am most perplexed. Having commissioned a portrait of my fiancee, I was shocked when presented with this (admittedly fine and lovely) life-size rendering of her in a most odalisque pose. I naturally anticipated viewing her in this state only
Sir, At church on Sunday, and the priest do shriek and bellow about the fiery pits of hell awaiting all those who do sin. This sermon troubles me somewhat. I later invite the priest round for a glass of Brandy whereupon he reassures me that, in many way
Messieurs et Madames, welcome all new subscribers to our little club - over 120 of you in the last day alone! Please take a seat, and enjoy one of our fine wines or French brandies. My maid is preparing membership cards and particulars as we speak.