Sir, I have hired two Italian chefs to give my luncheon greater variety. The chefs are currently banging and crashing around in the kitchen - presumably the Italian way - and I am in great anticipation of what exciting new experiences they may introduce nudes
Sir, My Head Gardener reports a glut of root vegetables. I have devised a method of grading the length and girth, Cook will not tolerate any sign of flacidity in the produce.
Sir, Philanthropists such as Mr Lever and Mr Rowntree implore the improvement of working and living conditions for staff. As a progressive employer, I do wholeheartedly agree. Why, just the other day, I gave Martha so much coal to warm the servants quart
Sir, I do hire a new maid. She hath not uniform nor working attire, but as a progressive employer I offer to provide these at no charge. I use the latest wet collodion photographic method to ensure perfect clothing fit. This do greatly please my new maid
Gentlemen, I am steadfast in belief that willingness to cooperate in assigned tasks is an important trait for staff. It is gratifying to see milady's maids demonstrating such qualities. Yes. Satisfying indeed.
Sir, My administrative staff and I are greatly pleased by the new correspondence submitted by club members. We are always open to further such discussions, and to the submission of photolithographs shewing staff in a state of undress.
Sir, After a hard day's work admonishing my lazy staff, there is nothing more relaxing than settling down in one's study with a glass of port to read some sophisticated literature. It feeds the mind.
Sir, The Municpal Park has a mistress in charge of the boating lake. She hails the boaters to return when their allotted time is up. I understand that there are harsh penalties for those who fail to return immediately.
Sir, Dr Mesmer visits from Germany and brings news of his scientific principle, whereupon he can command any to do as he desires. "For healing", he insists. Over a large Brandy, I do persuade him to cause my servants to believe they are swimming. It is
