Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise
Sir, My Head Gardener reports a glut of root vegetables. I have devised a method of grading the length and girth, Cook will not tolerate any sign of flacidity in the produce.
Sir, Dr Mesmer visits from Germany and brings news of his scientific principle, whereupon he can command any to do as he desires. "For healing", he insists. Over a large Brandy, I do persuade him to cause my servants to believe they are swimming. It is
Sir, A business luncheon with Lord Whippincot, a most pious man. I fear his shock at maid Clara's interpretation of a 'welcoming spread' could be heard in the next village. However, Whippincott later tips me a nod and offers much government work. I am
Sir, Noises from below stairs at 2am. I creep down with my service revolver, to discover maid Beatrice with that blaggard greengrocer. He has given her a hat 'similar to which the ladies do wear' and is giving her much more at which point I do interven
Sir, Philanthropists such as Mr Lever and Mr Rowntree implore the improvement of working and living conditions for staff. As a progressive employer, I do wholeheartedly agree. Why, just the other day, I gave Martha so much coal to warm the servants quart