In order to keep our pigs happy and healthy during the Queen's absence, The Matriarchy will once again be adopting the "Sunshine Standard" 800 calorie per day kale only diet. You're welcome! 🌈🌞
After a long and arduous journey, I've been secretly smuggled into Riverbed. The Queen took great delight in letting out her stresses on me, but found I was making too much noise. Even gagged with her dirty sock, I couldn't keep myself quiet.
As per the request from our Head of State, the pig responsible for preventing the Queen's parade has been publicly crucified by the Cadets. He will be fed only 150 calories a day in kale and then sent to the mines once the parade is over. For the time b