Due to some unfortunate incidents with the pig shoe cleaners on the Palace staff doing a subpar job, I am personally overseeing remedial training so that they are up to snuff for the State Dinner
I thought I could beat a woman at chess, but she put me in my place and reduced me to tears. This is my public apology, and my recognition of my own inferiority. Thank you for making me your chess bitch.
Feeling a little guilty about possibly losing The Queen's pig, I decided to stop home unannounced to have a quiet, relaxing evening with my bestie... and she's not here.
