Sir, Anticipating a visit from Lord Albermarle, and following my previous problems with seating comfort, I do now employ Maid Effie to test all of my furnishings. She do declare this chair "most soft and welcoming". Having considered her assessment at nudes by Sir_Lord

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The Hon Sec will deal with any infirngements of the Club Rules

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Sir, with so many titled guests arriving the Head Butler ensures that shoes are polished and hair is neatly trimmed. One must maintain standards I feel.

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Sir, I must profusely apologise for my absence from our club. I had taken delivery of some fine Brandy at a very agreeable price. A visit from the local constabulary did alert me to some irregularities, and thus to avoid the duty men I have been touring

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Sir, A great deal of fascinating artwork has been made known to me, through our friendly yet private club. I am most grateful for all contributions.

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A good firm spank!

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Sir, A troupe of acrobatic artistes arrive in the village. They favour us with an invitation to see them rehearse their act backstage. I am greatly entertained even though the human pyramid is not yet perfected.

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Sir, With an eye upon my dwindling wine cellar, I intend to cut the costs of running my estate. I issue a decree that staff should now sleep two to a bed, in a modest "top and tail" style that economises on laundry and bed space. I do note that some ma

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Sirs et Madames, We welcome all new guests to our club - over 800 of you in this past day. It has become a trifle crowded with newcomers at present, so I have opened the Dashwood room. It is a little dusty, but is most cavernous. My staff are already in

Sir, Anticipating a visit from Lord Albermarle, and following my previous problems with seating comfort, I do now employ Maid Effie to test all of my furnishings. She do declare this chair "most soft and welcoming". Having considered her assessment at nudes

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