Sir, I must profusely apologise for my absence from our club. I had taken delivery of some fine Brandy at a very agreeable price. A visit from the local constabulary did alert me to some irregularities, and thus to avoid the duty men I have been touring nudes
Sir, Having filled the cellar with wines,spirits & brandies, I find myself short on funds. Laundry seems excessively expensive, but a philanthropist like myself would never ask staff to pay for their clothing to be washed. Thus I devise an alternativ
Sir, I do take a glass of port to my library and do study for many hours. Kepler's Somnium, Bacon's New Atlantis and even Swift's Gulliver's Travels do reveal a future world unknown to us. Upon taking a third glass of port, I do imagine another world
Sirs et Madames, I apologise most profusely for the recent appearance of promotional handbills for strumpetry that have been left scattered around our club by tawdry urchins. The staff responsible for granting entry to said urchins have been punished.
Quelle horreur !!!! I was mortified to learn of Lady Chompenet's loss. Over dinner a diamond had dislodged itself from her tiara. I instruct the staff to carry out a meticulous search.
Sir, we are invited to a reading group hosted by Dame Trumpton-Hardwicke. I confess to being sceptical at first but there was one novel that caught my eye.
Sir, A communique from my friend 'Gussy' Herbert, presently embracing the cultural delights of Paris. He is saving money by sharing his Dollymop with two other clients. Gussy (reclining) appears most overwhelmed by the experience.
Sir, For some Yuletide jollity this year, I have engaged my staff to perform a simple play in the village hall. Some have suggested that my choice of Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' is ambitious, but I feel it will enliven the Christmas proceedings. To-day I d