There's still time to return your wife's Christmas present and spoil me instead. In return, I will tell you both how mediocre your wife is and how you will never get anywhere near me.
Are you sure your boring wife should get such a big Christmas present and so much attention? Wouldn't you rather spend the holidays chatting and spoiling me? I will listen to all your frustration and agree with you on how lame she is. You deserve better
