Due to some unfortunate incidents with the pig shoe cleaners on the Palace staff doing a subpar job, I am personally overseeing remedial training so that they are up to snuff for the State Dinner
As per the request from our Head of State, the pig responsible for preventing the Queen's parade has been publicly crucified by the Cadets. He will be fed only 150 calories a day in kale and then sent to the mines once the parade is over. For the time b
