Sir, I receive a letter by Empire Mail from Gussy Herbert. He writes : "Hiring new staff. Was unable to choose and so I hired all of them. Three pretty maids all in a row, eh what?". I do briefly consider hiring fresh staff such as these, but Lady B_ nudes
Dear Henny, whilst in London Town I’ve gone to Sotheby’s booksellers, they’ve granted me access to their statue collection, and I’m seeing to the possible acquisition of one, a wonderful Satyr piece. A daguerreotype is enclosed, with my assistant
Sir, If it pleases you to read this promotional correspondence,The lingua ligatum is a fully automatic machine that engages in a most unhygienic practice for the benefit of your wife. Made of gutta-percha & India rubber, this realistic device is extr
Dear Hubby, the ladies club has had a new debate erupting regarding equestrian style. Given our nudity compromise, we’re debating the merits of topless and bottomless riding!
Sir, The lack of education amongst the lower orders is lamentable. I have decided to permit the more promising servants to improve themselves whilst attending to their chores.
Sir, as a noted philanthropist, I do oft employ those who I feel need the greatest assistance. Maid Lilibet was from such a humble background that she had not even sat upon a chair before entering service. I gain great comfort from educating the deservin
Sir, A long day interviewing for new staff. I have settled on a final three but am frankly unable to choose betwixt them. I make some written and photolithographic records, which I intend to study at length this evening.
Sir, A wager : I do bet that maid Lottie cannot sit comfortably upon the chair without touching seat cushion or seat back. Her early attempts have clothing touching said cushions and thus forfeit, but a final wager brings a new technique and she wins two
Sir, Lady B___ complains that her room is too dark and that I must remedy this without delay. I suggest a large mirror, to better reflect the light from the windows. Upon the mirror's delivery, I enlist maid Lottie to assist in testing it's efficacy. I
