Sir, For some Yuletide jollity this year, I have engaged my staff to perform a simple play in the village hall. Some have suggested that my choice of Shakespeare's 'Hamlet' is ambitious, but I feel it will enliven the Christmas proceedings. To-day I d nudes
A Very Happy New Year to you all, and a special welcome our new members. You are most welcome. I have asked my maids to prepare a new barrel of fine brandy for all our guests.
Sir, My Greco-Roman mural remains incomplete after unpleasantness with the artist. This displeases me, as the water-carrier figure had not yet been painted. I then do remember that I have servants standing around idle, and so do deploy Maid Eva. I sit an
Sir, an increase in maids with infirmities such as rickets do trouble me, as they are unable to perform their work to a satisfactory degree. I have therefore introduced a test which new maids must pass. Such is its importance that I have decreed to super
Gentlemen, can you recommend a lawn care method? I was not pleased with the sheep - although they did a fine job of keeping the verge trimmed, their deposits attracted flies most egregiously. I then attempt the use of a dedicated gardener; however this s
Sir, Recently, Lord Pussetshaft proposed 'A Lady, when inverted, do resemble a Gentleman, and none can tell them apart'. After much Brandy and debate, we reached no firm conclusion. I called for two servants, but alas they were unable to remain still f
Sir, Gussy Herbert do send, by the Queen's post, a most modern "Christmas Greeting Card", within which he inscribes : 'A Merry Yule, you fool! May you get all you desire. I know I did!' He notes that 'Swells Academy' have a 2-for-1 offer upon Tues
Sir, If it pleases you to read this promotional correspondence,The lingua ligatum is a fully automatic machine that engages in a most unhygienic practice for the benefit of your wife. Made of gutta-percha & India rubber, this realistic device is extr
Sir, I instruct my maids to decorate the drawing room with paper chains in celebration of the yuletide. The high ceilings therein necessitate the use of a ladder, but maid Elsie is anxious of its flimsy construction. I observe that her petticoats must ha