Great news Press Secretary 2! We didn't lose The Queen's shoecleaner! He is on a top secret mission, so I'm heading to Freya to get rid of the imposter now.
As per the request from our Head of State, the pig responsible for preventing the Queen's parade has been publicly crucified by the Cadets. He will be fed only 150 calories a day in kale and then sent to the mines once the parade is over. For the time b
I walked by the old whipping post today, and stopped for a few minutes to reminisce about all the good times I had beating the shit out of that lazy pig Lockcock.
