Gentlemen, I am most perplexed. Having commissioned a portrait of my fiancee, I was shocked when presented with this (admittedly fine and lovely) life-size rendering of her in a most odalisque pose. I naturally anticipated viewing her in this state only
Sir - when Sophia decided to go for a bike ride, she rather boldly chose not to wear any underpants — and since she wanted everyone to know, she had her dress starched especially for the occasion.
Sir, I instruct my staff to prepare rooms for my guests, but they insist upon practicing their act "The Tumbling Maldinis" for the summer fayre. I offer some instruction and stage direction which is gladly accepted and do you know, I think their act ma
Sir, A communique from Gussy Herbert, Empire Correspondent. "Such warm weather here" he declares, "And fine ladies! I shall bring back many a tale for you upon my return". I sigh. Gussy's tales usually involve paying a woman sixpence and spending th
Sir, With an eye upon my dwindling wine cellar, I intend to cut the costs of running my estate. I issue a decree that staff should now sleep two to a bed, in a modest "top and tail" style that economises on laundry and bed space. I do note that some ma
Sir, A most tedious day in which I do discuss business matters with my accountant, and instruct the groundskeeper over the lower paddock. Dinner do greatly reconcile me, and so I to my library whereupon, over a glass of brandy, I do make a study of some
Sir, Lord Rollright of Shipton do visit, bringing strange prophecies of the future still to come. He 'sees' many folk holding a curious looking glass - one which shows not a reflection of the self, but pictures of the gentle sex without clothing. Rollr
