It has come to my attention that there are some grumpy piggies in The Matriarchy. Why not try to relax and relieve some of your stress with my brand new Goddess Sunshine waifu pillow now available for pre-order!!
Due to some unfortunate incidents with the pig shoe cleaners on the Palace staff doing a subpar job, I am personally overseeing remedial training so that they are up to snuff for the State Dinner
I thought I could beat a woman at chess, but she put me in my place and reduced me to tears. This is my public apology, and my recognition of my own inferiority. Thank you for making me your chess bitch.
