Sorry, dude, I just saw it now. You're lucky to have an ex like that. If anyone has similar cases, then share them, I think it would be interesting to everyone and would add activity to the sub.
Is your wife boring? Have you cheated on her? Do perverted things turn you on? Have you ever done it? Tell me your deepest secrets. I want to listen to it all. Remember it. Save it.....
There's still time to return your wife's Christmas present and spoil me instead. In return, I will tell you both how mediocre your wife is and how you will never get anywhere near me.