Sir, Today I receive a postcard from Gussy Herbert, who is currently in Egypt searching for lost treasures of the pharaohs. "I have uncovered some amazing finds", he writes, "You would not believe how many whores you can hire for a shilling". I raise nudes
Sirs et Madames, We welcome all new guests to our club - over 800 of you in this past day. It has become a trifle crowded with newcomers at present, so I have opened the Dashwood room. It is a little dusty, but is most cavernous. My staff are already in
Sir, I have oft heard it pronounced that the fairer sex are not capable of riding these new "safety bicycles", as it may prove too strenuous or in some way un-ladylike to do so. I trust that herein I am able to provide proof that this argument has no m
Dear ladies, there are few choices as important as your choice of a lady's maid! Speaking from experience, I advise you to test all candidates most thoroughly for such virtues as cleanliness, honesty, comeliness and willingness to get very personal with
My maids are in a state of some great excitement in anticipating the arrival of their "Father Christmas". I assure them that he will visit each of them in turn this night, to give them a most enjoyable gift. I will be exhausted come morningtide!
Sir, As a reward for their service I have on occasion permitted some of my staff to use my indoor skiitles. Judging for the noises that I hear from below starirs it has proved a most popular game.
Sir, Encouraged by other members of this esteemed club I have obtained a brochure from Mssrs Thos Cook and Sons. The 'Nile Voyage' offers a paddle steamer cruise to Luxor and Aswan. I enclose details of the First Class Smoking Lounge.
Sir, A letter arrives from Gussy Herbert, who is in great excitement. He declares that he has discovered a new and economical method of contraception, and promises to forward particulars with a view to patenting his system. I remain to be convinced, but
Sir, Gussy Herbert informs me that, on the continent, the pastime of smoking tobacco and other substances is becoming increasingly popular among the fairer sex. I do find this hard to believe, but Gussy subsequently provides convincing evidence of this